It It is with great trepidation that I post this.
People write “Songs I’m Embarrassed to Love” lists all the time – but most of the time it’s a rundown of Journey, Poison, and Beaver Brown Band staples that people are suddenly “embarrassed” about. Being embarrassed about liking pop music is like being embarrassed about going to the bathroom – everyone does it, and the fact that its kind of gross is universally accepted.
My list doesn’t contain one hit single – no Timberlake, no Madonna, no “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” These are songs you discovered on your own, enjoy very much, and would hide from friends as if they were hardcore dungeon movies. I’m talking about songs that reflect the polar opposite of your outward persona - songs that change people’s understanding of you as a man. Behold – the songs I am truly embarrassed to love…
Before I start, let me preface by saying I absolutely love the Black Crowes – they’re the best rock n’ roll band alive. Also, I saw the White Stripes last month and they absolutely rocked. Oh, and Nine Inch Nails is easily one of the best live rock bands ever, I highly recommend them. Rock.
Ok so the list of songs…
Wait, one more thing – I just want to say I listen to Bob Dylan almost every single day. And Prince. And Pearl Jam. And the Street Dogs are awesome. Ok…ok I’m ready…
Bruce Springsteen – “My Lover Man” (Tracks – 1998) Its Bruce Springsteen singing a love song about a woman who’s reconciling with her ex…in other words, it’s the Boss singing about how much he loves a dude. It’s a good tune if you’re into Springsteen - a very soulful, artistic departure for the guy who once told girls to “strap your hands ‘cross my engines.”
The Transplants – “Diamonds and Guns” (Transplants – 2002) You may have heard of this song before, but you probably didn’t know the band or title. “Diamonds and Guns” is the theme song for the Garnier Fructis commercials (woo wooo!). I’m not even going to lie and say I knew the Transplants before they were on TV, leaving me in the untenable position of liking a band from a shampoo commercial. Whatever. The song’s got a catchy beat, a great hook, and fun lyrics…Hey, would it be worse if I actually own the shampoo too?
Blink 182 – “Carousel” (Buddha - 1993,1998) I hate Blink 182 so much. To me they are a complete corporate sham - take the Backstreet boys, teach them two chords, tattoo the crap out of them, and there’s Blink 182: 35 year-old idiots singing about high school. That being said, Carousel, in this very early demo disc cut, is absolutely awesome. It’s a bad-ass, stripped down punk song bitching about girls. It’s the closest thing to Punk this band has ever achieved – and I hate them even more because this song is so good.
The Icarus Line – “Feed a Cat to your Cobra” (mono - 2001) Andrew and I discovered this shockingly psychotic underground rock/punk/hardcore band last year. Their first album, “mono,” is a conflagration of hysterical guitar, ultra-fast drums, and screeching lyrics. In other words – its awful and scares my friends. But I think this song is great because the title line “FEED A CAT TO YOUR COBRA” is the only lyric you can understand on the whole CD…and cats suck.
Frou Frou – “Let Go” (Details – 2002) This is the song from the end credits of “Garden State.” Making it triply, or even quadruply embarrassing because not only did I see Garden State, but I also liked it, and then I looked up one of Zach Braff’s alt-rock bands, and then I listened to their whole album, and then I kept a song. Actually this revelation is quintuply embarrassing – quite an achievement.
Bif Naked – Lucky (I, Bificus – 1998) It’s a depressed, strung out alcoholic singing about a really screwed up relationship with her dead boyfriend (possibly girlfriend). Its sad, it’s a mess, and it makes you think Bif is completely crazy. I have listened to this song over 200 times.
Tracy Chapman – “Change” (Where You Live – 2005) Maybe its because she’s from Tufts University (right down the street from me), maybe its because I am a sucker for good acoustic guitar, or maybe its because I’m secretly a lesbian. I don’t know. But this is a good song: a great piece of poetry sung by a very soulful, classy lady.
Mazzy Star – “Into Dust” (So Tonight That I Might See - 1998) I must admit, I have a thing for the SGS’s (Sad Girl Singers). And Mazzy’s Hope Sandoval may be the saddest SGS ever. “Into Dust” is an abstract, surreal song that’s either about dying, being trapped in a failed relationship or maybe being poisoned to death – it’s a total downer. Despite that, it’s beautiful and comes across as a really quiet version of “The End.”
So there it is – 8 songs I never wanted anyone to ever associate with me…and now I’ve gone and put them on the Internet. I have inexorably linked myself with Frou Frou – all for the sake of S&P.
Anyone else have any songs they’re really embarrassed to listen to? Post them in the comments below.
1 Brendan // Aug 27, 2007 at 10:51 AM
NOTE: It was brought to my attention after posting that Mazzy Star’s “Into Dust” was once featured on “The OC.” I did not get this song from “The OC.” I hate “The OC.” In fact, you go to hell just for insinuating I watch “The OC”. You bastard. I’ll get up here and blog to the world about how I love Bif Naked BUT I NEVER WATCHED “THE OC.” Clear? Good.
2 Mike W // Aug 27, 2007 at 11:37 AM
Don’t deny it B, we all know you’re a lesbian.
A song I’m wickedly embarrassed about liking?…
“Man Overboard” by Blink 182. I agree with you regarding how much they suck, but I dunno, I like this stinkin’ song.
Another one…
“Everyday” by Dave Matthews Band. I can’t bring myself to explain… I’ll just brace myself in preparation of being hit with a tomato… or the back of your hand.
3 Thomas // Aug 27, 2007 at 01:44 PM
Of course you love the Black Crowes. They are by far the most underrated band of the second half of the twentieth century. Then again, you forgot to mention my favorite outlaws… Johnny Cash and Merle Haggard. I think they ate gravel for breakfast just to soothe their gums. I could listen to them nonstop, and I have at times considered switching my wardrobe to all black after listening to “Man in Black,” and it’s hard not to tear up listening to “Hurt.”
Then again, I don’t think I’m the only one who will say that one of the secret advantages of having a significant other is being able to pass off chick music on your iPod as “oh, yeah, some of her stuff is on there, too,” when someone is browsing through your collection and comes across something embarrassing. No song fits better into that category than…
“1000 Miles” by Vanessa Carlton… Not only do I generally love walking down city streets, I love the piano in this song. However, spending two years in a long distance relationship gives this song special meaning to me… even if I had to turn the volume way down on my computer when it came up in the shuffle.
Then again, I can’t always pass of embarrassing music as that of my wife. Such as…
“Last Goodbye” by Kenny Wayne Sheperd… Maybe it’s because even the guitar is crying in this song, or maybe it’s the sadness drowning out the stoicism in his voice, but I love this song. I found this song when I was discovering this guitar prodigy in college, and I have loved it ever since then. However, when it got knocked off of S&P radio as not any good, my love for it went underground… until now.
Of course, when it comes to hair care songs, over a year ago my then-girlfriend introduced me to a song little known at the time that has since been picked up as a huge hair care anthem…
“Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield… I thought it’s metaphor comparing living life to writing a book was clever at the time, and I found it inspiring even though I knew I shouldn’t like it. Now, I hear it every day on TV and am pleased I don’t have to download it.
4 Andrew // Aug 27, 2007 at 04:34 PM
Thomas…I think you win with the Vanessa Carlton song. God i hate that freakin’ song. And you know i’d throw a fit if it ever came on while we’re hanging out.
I’ve got plenty of quasi-embarrassing favorites, but they’re mostly songs that I remember from sitting in the back seat of my mom’s station wagon when I was younger while she sang along to the local soft rock station. Some are just so ridiculous I had to download them, but others I truly enjoy.
A few of my favorites include “Bette Davis Eyes” by Kim Carnes, “Sometimes When We Touch” by Dan Hill, and “Danny’s Song” by Jo Dee Messina (you know the lyrics: “Even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with ya honey”). Hell, I even won extra points at a trivia night in Boston once for having “Come On Eileen” on my iPod.
I could go on and on: “Lady In Red” by Chris De Burgh, “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” by Looking Glass. Basically, the only thing that really embarrasses me about these songs is when I catch myself singing along in at my Dentist’s office. Or the undeniable need to shake my ass when “Conga” by Gloria Estefan comes on (long live Miami Sound Machine).
But then there’s the artists that I absolutely love, despite some people violently hating their music: Neil Diamond (not just Sweet Caroline like every baseball fan in America…I truly love 90% of his catalogue, including his latest album, 12 Songs, produced by Rick Rubin…see? I’m a dork.), John Denver (my father’s influence…I can remember singing “Take Me Home Country Roads” in his little old ‘78 Celica with all the windows down when I was really really young), Hall & Oates (seriously, unbelievable funk. Not really sure where I picked that up from…they’re mustaches were way too cool for my square parents…), etc etc etc.
For the most part though, I think I could defend just about every song on my computer (probably can’t say the same for all of the tapes I have sitting in a closet in my parents house though…).
Right now, the most embarrassing things for me probably stem from situations where my music stands out: driving through Bed-Stuy with my windows down while singing at the top of my lungs to Prince for instance. Or the opposite, like last night when I was forced off the highway in the middle of the bronx due to construction, and had the new Talib Kweli album turned up WAY too high. I got weird looks.
But more or less, I will defend the weirdness of some of my music to the death…once you get over stuff being considered “chick music” just because it’s a female vocalist, or understand the different styles of a lot of the strange brazilian or african music that I pretend I can sing along to, or find a way to appreciate just about all genres of music, I think you’d agree with a lot of it. Sure, there’s plenty that might make other people’s ears bleed, but I’ll give you solid reasons why I own it.
BUT, I will make one admission, that I just remembered. In third grade, I asked for (and got) Mariah Carey’s album “Music Box” for my birthday. I still know all the words to “Hero.” It’s a great song, shut up.
5 Mike W // Aug 27, 2007 at 05:02 PM
“BUT, I will make one admission, that I just remembered. In third grade, I asked for (and got) Mariah Carey’s album “Music Box” for my birthday. I still know all the words to “Hero.” It’s a great song, shut up.”
Ugh, I forgot to mention that one for my list too. She may be ridiculous in so many way, but she’s got one hell of a voice… and the melody of the song is beautiful.
6 Thomas // Aug 27, 2007 at 06:59 PM
Wait a second… Neil Diamond and John Denver? How can you not love them? I listen to them often and proudly. Don’t be embarrassed to love them. Also, I think Danny’s Song is Anne Murray. At least, that’s who I have listed on my song list.
But, come on, Mariah Carey’s “Hero?” While embarrassing, there is no way Vanessa Carlton could win after you threw that wild car onto the table. Maybe listening to that song stunted your growth as a child and contributed to you looking like an old woman.
7 Andrew // Aug 27, 2007 at 09:09 PM
Weird, actually the version of “Danny’s Song” i have is Kenny Loggins with Jim Messina. Strange. But yeah, I think Murray’s is the more common one.
And “Hero” is a WAY better song than that annoying piano-riffed Vanessa Carlton song.
And I think that most people get nervous around Neil and John when they here the love songs like “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” and “Annie’s Song.” Classics. Try to picture B attempting to sit through an entire Diamond/Streisand duet without jamming a pencil in his ear.
8 Andrew // Aug 27, 2007 at 09:51 PM
Also, for the record, I had to look up the name of that Mariah Carey album on Amazon. Now, every time I go to the website, other shitty Carey albums are at the top of the page under my recommendations.
Those recommendations always make me laugh though…apparently the last DVD I looked up on Amazon was a 9-disc series about WWII for my Dad for Christmas 2 years ago. And so other WWII and military DVD’s are always prominently displayed. As well as some Converse, wristwatches, music business books, various styles of headphones, and often, Oscar Meyer bologna. I don’t believe I purchased any of those (except maybe the headphones) from Amazon in the end, but thank god for their advanced marketing cookies.
9 Brendan // Aug 28, 2007 at 09:10 AM
TR, your coming out of the closet and admitting you like Vanessa Carlton has touched us all. But Andrew totally trumped you with that littany of 80’s 90’s love themes. Great work guys.
In the spirit of revealing terrible pop songs we love, i’ll just throw it out there that I love Cutting Crew’s “I died in Your Arms Tonight, ” and Men at Work’s “Land Down Under.”
I am also 100% not ashamed to love “Take Me Home Tonight” by Eddie Money. Actually that might be another good post - Songs I’m Not Ashamed to Love (But Probably Should Be).
10 Trish // Aug 28, 2007 at 10:50 AM
I could not be more proud of all you boys! Of course, most of the songs you are embarrassed about are the ones that I absolutely love (with exception of Mariah Carey… wow Andrew) And I hope you don’t mind my adding to this… I will admit to still loving New Kids on the Block. It’s probably more acceptible for me to like them, being a girl, but it’s still embarrassing when my iPod is on shuffle and ‘Step By Step’ comes on, and I’m already singing along on Step 3 when I realize people are staring.
11 Thomas // Aug 28, 2007 at 01:19 PM
I don’t think it’s any more embarrassing for a twenty-something girl to still like New Kids than it is for anyone to still admit to liking MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice. Who hasn’t been in a situation when “Ice Ice Baby” came on and more than one person in the group knew all the words, or perk up their ears after listening to Robin Williams say “we have to pray just to make it today” in that movie trailer and wornder where they had heard that before the trailer answers the question for you.